What do you do with Kids that hit?

As you know my wife and I are foster parents. We are still relatively new. My wife has been doing this for a few years… and I started last year. We had two cute toddler boys who went to different families in December 2013. One boy was adopted out, and the second went to a family who most likely will adopt him.

This January two new boys were put under our care. Both boys are old enough to walk and talk but not old enough to start kindergarten. Most foster kids have emotional baggage so it is not surprising that these two boys are dealing with some stuff. But these kids hit. They hit each other. Hitting each other is normal (kind of) because they are brothers. But they also hit me. They hit my wife. Sometimes they hit even people they don’t know if that person irritates them.

We put the boys in time out or send them to their room when they act out. They are not big enough to hurt (a lot) when they hit my wife and I. But when they hit it doesn’t tickle. No we cannot go hulk on them. In addition, many kids who come into foster care have already had someone go hulk on them,

What  nonviolent parenting tricks do you know for kids that hit? Please share your wisdom below!

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About drishism

Love. Explore. Advocate. Rejoice. Note. http://www.ishism.com
This entry was posted in Adoption, children, family, fatherhood, fear, Foster Care, Foster Care Journal, ish ism, love, motherhood, parenting, Philosophy and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to What do you do with Kids that hit?

  1. Jackie says:

    Unfortunately, I don’t have any helpful advice regarding this issue but I did want to say that I think you and your wife are awesome for being foster parents.

  2. David says:

    That’s the point where I’d run … alas.

  3. Fantyse says:

    1st Warning, You make a big deal out of it right away. Let them know hitting is not tolerated. If it happens again, they get time out. 2nd warning, time in timeout because they didn’t listen. 10 mins, if they talk or get up it starts over. While starting the timeout punishment tell them what they did and why its not acceptable and tell them how long they will be sitting and the rule or no talking and getting up. 3rd warning, they get things taken away like games or toys like they or tv time, for a certain amount of time, like no tv for 30 mins. This works better though with rewards because you don’t have to take anything away, you can just not give them rewards. If they are on a reward system you can tell they are not getting a “smiling face” today. Have you ever heard of the reward system? Like for chores and good behavior? If not you guys should really have one in place. Also sending them to their room is not a good idea all the time because they get creative, destroy things, play, and talk trash. Bore the crap out of them with making them sit in one place where you or your wife can watch them in timeout.

    • drishism says:

      We have done everything except the 3rd warning. We don’t have them watch enough TV for it to feel like a loss if we took it away. But they have had toys put in timeout for a long time. We do have a rewards system… it seems to work inconsistently. My wife is really good about explaining why the kids are in timeout and getting them to acknowledge what they did wrong.

      Thank you for sharing your ideas! :-)

      • Fantyse says:

        Well just keep up the good work and remember you are teaching them things they should have learned since infancy. So it’s going to take some time for them to relearn the socially acceptable and the appropriate ways to act with authority and peers. -fant

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