Bank on these predictions coming true in 2013.  Guaranteed.

(Or your money back.)

Facebook can’t monetize and decides to shut down operations

• Every gray-haired CMO says, “I told you so”
• Zuckerberg announces new social network called Stalkbook for guys to share photos of girlfriends in bikinis
• All the cows die in Farmville

Twitter increases character count to 212,758, which is the same number of words in Moby Dick

• U.S. literacy increases by 74 percent after the first three months
• Online sarcasm dies

Content curators are forced to share revenue with the actual content creators

• Supreme Court laughs like hyenas after hearing the argument that “curation is an art form”
• Curation officially made a synonym of “thievery”
• Ariana Huffington breaks down weeping on “The View”

A celebrity sends out a controversial tweet and retracts it

• Blames the initial tweet on “not keeping up with the news”
• Within hours blames administrative assistant
• Then checks into…