Awkward Things Sports Reporters Say

If you have watched a sports broadcast over the past five years, then you have most likely heard the sideline reporter, who reports on a player’s status after an injury. My wife and I get a chuckle from this report. Not because a player is hurt! There is nothing funny about that. But it is the  shorthand language that sideline reports use to report these injuries which makes us smile.

“He has a right knee,” says the intrepid reporter. This is meant to report the player has a right knee injury. A casual listener would think it is a good thing the player has a right knee. But alas, in sports lingo, having a knee (right or left) is actually a bad thing.

Other standard injury reports include:

He has a shoulder… He has an ankle… He has an ACL … He has a concussion…

The casual listener would want all of these except the concussion. Granted, there is very little time for sideline reporting when each sports broadcast must include some or all of the following: shots of some player blowing snot out his nose, cheerleaders, people spilling beer in the stands, a kid in the stands sleeping, a player spitting, a close up of some player’s crotch, a super hot woman in the stands, drunk people dancing in the stands, commercial breaks, and references to games coming up later today or next week.

I have not watched enough women’s sports to know if sideline reporters do the same thing for those broadcasts. With all that said, is it possible to give sideline reporters .2 seconds more airtime so they can say the word “injury” when doing their sideline reporting?

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