Category Archives: Adoption

Today I Became a Dad for the First Time – Plus, my 200th Post

Happy Father's Day

Today I became a dad. A foster dad. So yes… this is an exciting day. But remember, when a child goes into foster care it is one of his/her worst days EVER.

We got the call last week that we would be getting our first placement… Continue reading Today I Became a Dad for the First Time – Plus, my 200th Post

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Today I Turned 38 Years Old …

Happy Birthday to meToday I turned 38.

While turning 38, there was not the wild anticipation of almost adulthood that comes from turning 13. There was also not the certification of not being a kid anymore that comes from turning 18. Furthermore, it was not the last legal hurdle that comes with the legal drinking age of 21 (in the United States). So, how do I feel about turning 38?

It’s not just a day… but it also does not have the marching band excitement that may have come with earlier birthdays. As I get older, I put more emphasis on slowing down. Not because my body moves slower (I do run marathons)… but I enjoy hikes and just being outside. Last night my wife and I attended a BBQ that was later followed by a band playing church worship music outside. It was nice and peaceful. When I was younger, this might have bored me. But last night, it was a nice escape to be able to sit and relax.

This morning, on my birthday, my wife and I had a Human Services inspector come to our house to make sure we were not dealing drugs or planning to take over the world. Exciting? No. But it is a step toward a life dream, a very big bucket list item that I have to be a foster parent and/or adoptive parent. So the inspection actually was a nice thing to happen on my birthday. Although, at the slow pace the Human Services inspectors have been moving, I am a little nervous about being certified as foster/adoptive parents… because it may not happen before my 50th birthday 😉

So, what is the most important thing I have learned over the years that I can share with you as I turn 38? Well, at times the people in my life have made my life difficult… but I have either learned from those experiences, or moved on so that those people are no longer part of my life. The truth is… life is best spent with the right people. I am not a billionaire, but the people in my life have made my life special. Turning another year older is not as important as spending years with the right people. Therefore, my birthday wish has already been granted because I have the right people in my life.

On my birthday, I wish you a life blessed with the right people… just like my life has been.

Green Eggs, Adoption, and some Ham in the Philippines

Green Eggs, Adoption, and some Ham in the Philippines by IshIsm.com
Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss

In the Philippines I have seen a lot of children who are struggling toward an impoverished future because of the extreme poverty of their parents. I myself grew up very poor in the United States. So poor that some winters I lived in a house with no power with my mother. In addition, I was in a foster home and nearly adopted when I was 11-ish. That was in the 1980s. Today in the United States, if social services discovered the same conditions I was living in… a child will most likely be put in a long-term foster home or adopted.

However, adoption in the United States is different than adoption in other countries. Adopting a child in the United States may mean having a child with emotional disorders from parental abuse. It could mean adopting a child with birth defects from maternal drug abuse. Adopting in other countries reminds me of what I stereotypically think of adoption… taking in an orphan. However, there is a long list of reasons why an international child can be an orphan which can cause emotional issues that do not involve the death of parents. In Uganda, many mothers abandon their children from a previous marriage when they got remarried because the new husband only wants to take care of HIS children.

Anyway, my wife and I are staying with a wonderful family in the Philippines while I do my research on poverty and health care. One of the cool things about this family is their commitment to adoption. I am honestly unsure how many children they have adopted over the years, but I am guessing it is 8 or 9 (I lost count). It is something the father in the family strongly believes in because he grew up an orphan in the Philippines.

Well, adoption is something I have always been interested in because of how I grew up. I have already started collecting Dr. Seuss books to read to my children some day. I have great memories of Dr. Seuss books despite how hard growing up was for me. Green Eggs and Ham is the book that inspired my love of reading. However, the point is… whether I have biological children or adopted, I want to read to them. And I don’t want to read to them from an ipad. I want to read to them from a book. With paper. And whether it is The Sneetches, Green Eggs and Ham, the Lorax, or another story… Dr. Seuss is something I want to share with my kids.

Hearing this man in the Philippines talk about the children he has adopted, and the extreme poverty they were living in before, rekindles my spirit to adopt. Adopting any child is probably going to be emotionally challenging. How will I handle a child if he/she has behavioral issues from parental abuse? These are things I think about when I consider adopting. Do I have an incorrect stereotype when I think adopting a child in the U.S. most likely means adopting a child with behavioral issues?

Adopting right now might be crazy because I am in grad school working on my thesis… but someday sooner rather than later I hope to open my home up to adoption. My main limitation is finances.

Sunday we met a family who has “pseudo-adopted” 6 beautiful little girls. I am still learning how things work in the Philippines, but pseudo-adoption is the best term I can think of to describe it. This family feeds, clothes, and provides shelter for 6 girls who have mothers … but the mothers need financial help. So, we have seen two different types of “adoption” in the Philippines. I guess the pseudo-adoption could be considered similar to sponsoring a child… but how many sponsored children do you know of that “live” in the home of the sponsor? Seeing these 6 beautiful little girls who were “pseudo-adopted” reinforced my desire to adopt.

Well, this post is starting to ramble… so I will finish with some ham. The Philippines has no Home Owners Association. Personally I hate HOAs. Where is this going? Keep reading.

My wife and I have stayed with two different host families. This past Sunday, we returned from spending the weekend with the second host family (the ones who pseudo-adopted the 6 girls). And the neighbors were having a wake. In the Philippines, our host told us a wake can go from 6 p.m. to midnight… and sometimes longer. Well, the neighbors had at least a 24-hour wake. And at 3 a.m. the neighbors decided to slaughter a pig. And then they slaughtered a second pig at 5 a.m. I am not sure if this was for the people at the wake, or perhaps in preparation for a large dinner sometime in the evening… but my wife and I definitely noticed when the two pigs were slaughtered at 3 a.m. and 5 a.m.

If you have never heard a pig being slaughtered, it sounded similar to what I imagine a poltergeist would sound like… wailing, screeching, for several minutes. This may be the only time in my life I wanted an HOA, because by my estimate we were within 30 feet of the screeching and wailing pigs. Before coming to the Philippines I never imagined I would add “not being woken up by the poltergeist-like sounds of pigs being slaughtered” to my list of reasons that I miss the USA.

Well, that is all for now. I am exhausted because the slaughtering of the pigs really disrupted my sleep pattern. Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day!