In the upper middle of the tree you can see one of our chickens. Today we have two chickens climbing in the trees, and the snow continues to fall. Hopefully we won’t have “frozen” chicken tomorrow morning!!
If this was a Winter Olympics Event what would it be called? Poultry Tree Chase? Frozen Chicken Tree Climb?
Chickens are starting to appear in larger and larger numbers in animal shelters. Animal shelters? Really?
Really really. This is a real story. The story goes on to say that people no longer want their chickens after the birds have stopped laying eggs, and just don’t know what to do with them! Are we really spending tax payer dollars, or donor dollars, on abandoned chickens because people do not know what to do with them?
My wife and I have backyard chickens. When these chickens stop laying eggs, they are not going to become pets. They are not going to be dumped on some poor overworked/underfunded animal shelter. And they are not going to be dumped in some neighborhood like a college kid’s puppy that is no longer wanted because summer break has arrived. This is a real problem. Yes, sadly Country Catches Critical Chicken Crisis (c5) is not a joke. This is a reflection of the super-modernized, super-sanitized culture we live in. People sit at their computer screens, distant from the “dirty” processes that make the real world run.
“The majority of them are going to be backyard birds that have been either abandoned or dumped,” he said. “Usually, no one wants roosters, and the hens we get are usually spent hens. People don’t know what to do with their old hens. I’ve picked them up at apartment complexes, parks, or I get calls from the Humane Society or animal control.”–OPB
Well, there is an old fashioned remedy that has been passed down for generations which can deal with c5. And I’m going to share it with you, here… for free!! That’s right! You won’t need to purchase a membership, buy a poorly written book, or attend a seminar in Las Vegas.
The Remedy to c5 is… (drum roll please): It’s called chicken dinner. I know some of you may not have realized that chicken dinner is made from chickens. You probably thought chickens grew on trees or were manufactured by a new Monsanto wonder plant. But in reality, chicken dinner is made from chicken.
First, you kill the chicken (yeah, this is old school). Second, you pluck the chicken. Third, you gut the chicken. Fourth, you prep the chicken for cooking (my wife normally does this, and it is an overnight process). Fifth, prep the chicken via your favorite recipe and then toss it in the oven/skillet/crock pot. Sixth, you EAT the chicken. For some of you, this old fashioned method of what to do with chickens after they have stopped laying eggs may seem a bit barbaric. Well grow up. At the very least you could sell them on craigslist to someone else that will eat them.
Think before you get chickens. If you want backyard chickens but don’t have the stomach to eat them, then you shouldn’t get backyard chickens. What’s the problem with eating chickens? I mean seriously… chicken tastes like… chicken.
Honestly, backyard chickens filling up animal shelters is absurd… wake up America.
Yes, I was running outside in my underwear. They were boxers and I’m sure the neighbors could not tell. It was an emergency. Wait, perhaps I should back up and start from the beginning.
So, as I was getting ready for bed when I heard an odd sound from the backyard. What is that? It was just before midnight January 8th. I paused for a moment. And then the sound came again. An animal shrieked!
They will definitely be getting their wings clipped this week. One trick I learned to get them out of the trees involves a broom handle. Chickens, similar to other birds, will perch on anything.
So if you take the broom handle and press is against the front of their legs, they will almost naturally step onto the broom handle as if it was a branch. By doing this, you can then easily lower them down from the tree. One of them I was able to carry from the tree almost to the door of the chicken coop by using the “broom handle perch” method.
My chickens were in the trees again. This time, two of them were REALLY high up. I tried to video them, but the result looks like Blair Witch meets the Chicken Wrangler. It took approximately 30 minutes for me to get all four chickens unstuck from the trees tonight. Two were fairly easy to catch because they were within arms reach.
The other two chickens were a different story. They were both nine feet off the ground, and I made the smart decision to poke them with a stick to get them down. Which, of course, was the wrong decision because they flew higher into the tree. Finally I came up with the idea of pulling the tree branch down and then they were six feet off the ground, and then I snagged them from the tree. Now all four are safely locked in their chicken coop.