Category Archives: football

Awkward Things Sports Reporters Say

If you have watched a sports broadcast over the past five years, then you have most likely heard the sideline reporter, who reports on a player’s status after an injury. My wife and I get a chuckle from this report. Not because a player is hurt! There is nothing funny about that. But it is the  shorthand language that sideline reports use to report these injuries which makes us smile.

“He has a right knee,” says the intrepid reporter. This is meant to report the player has a right knee injury. A casual listener would think it is a good thing the player has a right knee. But alas, in sports lingo, having a knee (right or left) is actually a bad thing.

Other standard injury reports include:

He has a shoulder… He has an ankle… He has an ACL … He has a concussion…

The casual listener would want all of these except the concussion. Granted, there is very little time for sideline reporting when each sports broadcast must include some or all of the following: shots of some player blowing snot out his nose, cheerleaders, people spilling beer in the stands, a kid in the stands sleeping, a player spitting, a close up of some player’s crotch, a super hot woman in the stands, drunk people dancing in the stands, commercial breaks, and references to games coming up later today or next week.

I have not watched enough women’s sports to know if sideline reporters do the same thing for those broadcasts. With all that said, is it possible to give sideline reporters .2 seconds more airtime so they can say the word “injury” when doing their sideline reporting?

I said “NO” to John Madden Football

Dear John Madden Football,

First of all, I assure you I am a mostly sane person. I am not ill… aliens have not taken over my body. I am not suffering from a head injury. I am not experimenting with legal or illegal drugs. And I am not experiencing a mid-life crisis (or any other type of crisis).

Second of all, I love you John Madden Football. Love, love, love you. Continue reading I said “NO” to John Madden Football

Joe Paterno Stripped of All Football Victories from 1998 to 2011

Wow! I knew Penn State was going to get hit hard… but I was not expecting them to get hit this hard. 

Loss of 80 scholarships over a period of four years.

$60 million fine

Joe Paterno stripped of all football victories from 1998 to 2011!

Do you think this is excessive, right, or not enough?

Troy Polamalu at Wax Museum (Video)

Troy Polamalu of the Pittsburgh Steelers does one of the funniest commercials/promos I have seen in a long time. This is for Head and Shoulders, and was released in October of last year. So yeah, I am a bit late sharing it… but I just saw it today.

It’s very cool and very fun. I’m glad one of the older guys didn’t have a heart attack! I’m not sure exactly sure how this promotes “Head and Shoulders,” but it is definitely funny. What do you think?